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Monday, November 2, 2009

Ramblings on the way the world should be *nose elevated*

We do not live in a perfect world. u probably already knew this. but how should the world be? let me tell you.

first of all, in a perfect world a short, slightly pudgy and balding guy like myself would be considered the epitome of handsome. None of this chiseled abs and tan crap.

In a perfect world no one would drink or smoke cuz that stuff is gross. There would be no drug trade and the people who traffic that shiz would have nothing better to do with their lives than get real jobs and contribute to society.

In a perfect world people would have enough respect for themselves and others to wait until they are married to do the dirty. Then the fruits of those relationships (AKA children) would be allowed to grow up in complete families with both parents and be allowed to contribute to society.


In a perfect world everyone would be kind to each other. The hospital where I had my appendix removed last year would just leave me alone and quit nagging me about paying them money. The guy whose car i rear ended would simply decide that he likes his car the way it is so that i, a poor college student, can continue to eat. All of my professors and TAs would decide that in order to be kind they will just give me and everyone else A's for the semester.

In a perfect world everyone would love me. My sometimes misunderstood humor would be understood and never be found offensive by anyone...ever. Anything I say/do would be found to be inspirational and/or hilarious. Any girl that I ever gave attention to would automatically like me back and realize immediately that whatever guy she might be with is a big hoser and then decide to ditch him as to be with me.

In a perfect world I would be articulate and never say stupid things that get me into trouble. I would be able to whip out shnazzy ideas in the blink of an eye and be as graceful as one of those ice dancer people in the Olympics. I would be good at all sports, and have the hand eye coordination and speedy fast reflexes of Neo from the matrix.

But alas, a perfect world we do not live in. I say dumb things and do stupid things. I make mistakes and even crash cars, giving sweet innocent girls black eyes. For these short comings I apologize.

All girls do not like me, though I do not pretend to understand why, and people keep coming after me for money. Horny folks continue to do their thing before marriage and their poor offspring have to suffer the consequences. And what is there to do about it?

Just try I guess. When no one else gives a crap and no one else is working to improve the world I guess we have to...I guess I have to....Darn it all, I hate that kind of responsibility.